In my latest solo episode, I talked about walking through fear and how to deal with anxiety. My anxiety occasionally rears its ugly head – sometimes for no reason and other times around stressful situations. Whenever I feel anxiety’s getting the best of me, I try to stay present and turn to meditation, my regimented routines, gratitude – all the wellness girlie things. I know I’m not the only person dealing with anxiety, so I wanted to be open about it here as a way to overcome it and share some personal tips for managing it.
This day in age there we’re constantly bombarded with daily stressors. From being on our phones non-stop, working all hours of the day, stuck in traffic, and trying to juggle our personal and professional lives, there’s no wonder anxiety seems to be at an all-time high. To cope, we often do things that distract us from our stress, like watching TV, scrolling through social media, etc. Those things may act as coping mechanisms but they often make us feel even worse. The key is to first identify them and adopt helpful habits that will move us forward and help us process our feelings versus distracting us from them. For me, this looks like journaling, meditation, spending time with family, going for walks, breathwork and cooking. If you’re WFH or tend to check your email afterhours, set boundaries by ending your workday at a certain time. This helps me separate my work life from my personal life when they’re both sharing the same space.
Dealing with social anxiety and anxiety when it comes to people and situations we can’t avoid is trickier, but to lower anxiety, you can:
Journal
First, identify what’s causing the anxiety; if it’s a reaction that’s on your part, from a behavior on their part or a mixture of both. Then, look at it from a systemic viewpoint. Ask yourself, “What is it that they do that causes me anxiety and how can I behave differently in that situation?”
Set boundaries
We can’t control others (or situations), but we can tell people what our boundaries are.
Try cognitive behavioral therapy
This is especially helpful in managing social anxiety because it makes us look at thinking patterns that create our social anxieties. Cognitive behavioral techniques help us identify irrational thinking patterns like catastrophizing, mindreading and overgeneralization and develop better ways of thinking. (If therapy isn’t available to you, researching all the different cognitive distortions is a great place to start!)
This is more of a trick, but ask people about themselves! When I find myself in social situations (like an award show that’s totally not my world) and I feel stuck and don’t know what to say, I’ll start asking people about themselves. People usually love to talk about themselves anyway – and it’s an easy way to get into a conversation!
Anxiety doesn’t have to be a huge barrier to maintaining healthy relationships. It’s usually an internal struggle – and holding it in can lead to physical symptoms or more anxiety. Communicating, letting yourself be vulnerable and avoiding irritability is key. Anxiety is always an ebb and flow and emotion we can’t control, but we can learn to see it, cope with it and minimize it. One way to do this is to personify anxiety by saying, “I see you and acknowledge you,” and practicing mindfulness.
Sometimes we experience anxiety where we can’t figure out the root cause. When it comes to dealing with this kind of anxiety, make sure you’re giving yourself enough space every single day to feel our feelings and think our thoughts. This is especially important because, in today’s society, there are so many distractions that keep us from sitting with our thoughts and feelings. Finding yourself in that state of ambiguous anxiety is usually a warning call that we’re not giving ourselves enough time to process our thoughts and feelings. You can give yourself space and time with meditation or other mindfulness practices. Whatever works for you!
Anxiety stems from fear, which are both normal human emotions we experience in our daily lives, but it’s important that you don’t get stuck in those feelings. Focus on the day-to-day rather than all the unknowns by getting fresh air, limiting screen time and doing things that are life-affirming and reminds you that life is beautiful!
When feelings of anxiety start to surface, how do you like to stay present? I’d love to hear your anxiety management tips.
